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 Uncle Sam

 

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 Putin didn't have a chance    My very first product endorsement    Really... that's me

 This job sucked!    My mom knew how to make us behave    I was a rocket scientist in my thirties

 No one in the neighborhood messed with us    I was arrested - but I had the awesome moustache    Poor as church mice

 I have levitated more than once    Looks like I was in a band    I finally like football

 Get down    I could be French    Another lady with a gun

 Mom always wanted a girl - but had three sons    What a crappy cruise    It's not my house

 My friends and I don't miss a thing    I don't do breakfast well    A cool date in the making

 What are you looking at?    I had a slight 'gas' problem    I sold real bricks

 He was a good little boy    I am ready for space travel    My older brother and I go fishing

 Balance like this is not as easy as it looks    I met the king    As a child I liked anything blue

 Soon I'll need an entourage of my own    Once I realized my head was small enough - I escaped!    I had a hand in the development of ping pong

 My mom and her little bundle of joy - me    My first wife fed us way too much    This is the fraternity I pledged...

 ...but I ended up in this fraternity    I hate this game - Angry Bogus Bob!    I hope they give me back my Iris - I liked her

 Heads are for kissing... not for tattoos    My dad and I performing a puppet show for our friends    I entertained all of the floors in my college dorm

 My first ride... and the ladies loved it!    I was a bugler during the American Civil War    I've always had a big head

 Home Depot won't allow me to use this device - I can only sit on it    Fishing with my Asian Water Pointer - Teddy    Here's how I fish now - noodling

 If we were any sharper... we'd cut ourselves    I got mad... damn mad!    That leopard scared me so much I ran right out of my flip-flops

 Blogging is tedious work - I need assistants    I stopped by to visit Chris Hansen and suddenly I'm on TV    I'm picking a few of these passion fruits to send to Susie

 Sarah always looks good - me on the other hand...    Look what we found in the swimming pool - a chupacabra    This is how I killed that chupacabra

 Enjoying a position in the Pope's inner circle    MacArthur had to take me... I am the only one with binoculars    I'm not that crazy about snakes

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