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Uncle Sam

 

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I am clean as a whistle   Watusi   Some folks think I'm a space cadet

Question: 'How did I end up like this?'   Answer: 'I was with the Stasi in the early '60s.'   My first printer

Killer?   Her first portable radio   My favorite ax

A magazine about pressed pants?   I see dead people   We did the crime... now we'll do the time

On my own   What?   I think she spotted me

I always stay at the New Yorker when I'm in town fighting crime   I'm glad it's not me getting married   I was once abducted by a cartoon chicken

I do all of my own decorating   This happens every Sunday afternoon   Off to the prom... then pancakes at IHOP

I played piano for a few years in the '70s   Yeah... 'No blame us!'   Could this be one of those missing pets?

I just jumped over those flaming drums of jet fuel   I'm doing the twist... she's doing the flop-out   Back off or I'll jump!

Come 'ere - we wanna show you something   How'd that sound?   Christina Aguilera pops out of a limo pantless... and I'm there!

Didn't I say 5:30 PM sharp at the pointy bra billboard?   I need to know   Ommmmmmmmmm

I opened the first all lady body shop   First year of law school... I worked in the library   What are all these deer doing on my front lawn?

Someone wants to censor me   I just couldn't resist   Where's Bogus Bob?

Truth in advertising   Ignored   Out with the trash

Yeah... we're talking to you   I'll bet Bo Diddley didn't have cool shoes like this   The first battery operated tape recorder

A recent family reunion   The queen and her court   I never stray more than 100 yards from an air raid shelter

She is under my spell   Mimes can only kick imaginary ass   This was quite the scooter pool

Nice of Time to feature my web site   One of us is in the wrong sauna - probably me   My first motorcycle

I wonder where the other leg went?   My new job at GBTV   My weekly massage

More reading material   I loved this suit - it fit me like a glove   Some folks say I remind them of Jack LaLanne

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